Help or shut up

Posted by revarant on June 4, 2012
Posted in: Faith in Action. Leave a comment

A couple of years ago, I found myself in an all to familiar scene.  Our children were in bed, end of the day tasks completed and my wife and I sat together for a few moments of peace before we called it a day.  As I tried to read, my wife shared the events of her day.   When she told me about a particular problem I laid down my book, and began to tell her how to solve it. Upon finishing, I returned to my book and waited for the usual acquiescence to my wisdom.   This time it never came. Instead she pushed my book down and said “I wish you wouldn’t pretend to help. Telling me what to do without listening is not helping.” There was much more to the story than I had assumed.  My advice would have made the situation worse.

Unfortunately this scene plays out too often in ALL of our lives.  We perceive a problem and assume we’re helping by pointing it out or telling someone else how to fix it. It fills us with warm fuzzy feelings of accomplishment and faithfulness.  Our conscience is at peace because “we did something.”  It’s not our fault if they don’t listen or take our advice.  We helped, and now it’s their turn.  After all, “God helps those who help themselves,” right?

Is it even possible to be more sanctimonious than that?

Our lives are made up of countless experiences, decisions and reactions. Sometimes our experiences are similar enough that what works for me will work for you.  But no matter how similar we appear…our lives, experiences and situations are different. We come across as insincere and uncaring when we don’t take the time to walk in their shoes, to be in a genuine helpful relationship with them.

We are all in relationship with each other.  Some are good and helpful. Some are worthless and hurtful. In a genuine christian relationship, we share our journeys and experiences.  We learn from each other and both of our relationship’s with God deepens. We don’t come across as judgmental, giving the impression that we care more about things being done our way than we care about the person.  Throughout his ministry, Jesus cared for people first.  When the woman was about to be stoned for her sins (John 8:1-11), Jesus showed concern for her not her actions.  In that relationship she found forgiveness and the opportunity for a deeper relationship with God.

If we really want to be helpful, then we have to get involved.  We have to get in a real genuinely helpful  relationship. It’s not enough to say “this is what you should do.”  Truth be told, unless you really in relationship…you don’t know.  Even Jesus took time to listen to the blind man seeking healing (Luke 18:35-43) when he asked him “What do you want me to do for you?”

These days when my wife begins telling me about a problem I’ve learned to ask, “Ok, how can I help?” before I simply start giving advice.

Excuses

Posted by revarant on May 29, 2012
Posted in: Faith in Action. Tagged: . Leave a comment

One Sunday morning, a few years ago, my children and I were driving down the street during a rainstorm. We passed a motorist who was clearly struggling with a flat tire. As we drove by, my daughter asked, “Aren‘t you going to help like you always do?”  Without even looking I said, “Well it‘s raining pretty hard and we need to get to church. Besides…I‘m not alone. It‘s too dangerous to help a stranger with you and you brothers in the vehicle with me.” Somewhat indignantly she responded, “You‘re right, the Bible only says that Jesus healed people on the Sabbath, it doesn‘t say that he did it in the rain.” At that moment my middle son sarcastically chimed in, “Yeah, I‘m sure Jesus might have done things differently if he had known how dangerous the cross was going to be.” It is annoying when a child has a smart mouth. It is just downright unfair when they are right.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus tended to the needs of those around him. In the Gospels, we see Jesus ignoring his own safety to heal a man with a withered hand, on the Sabbath and in front of the Pharisees who were conspiring against him (Matthew 12:9-14). Jesus can also be found pausing to heal a sick woman while he is urgently on his way to heal a dying girl (Matthew 9:18- 26). Helping those in need was always a priority for Jesus. We never see Jesus taking into consideration his own personal comfort, security, convenience or even safety before helping someone in need.

Too often we are guilty of being Christians of convenience. The time has to be right or our own circumstance must be perfect before we get involved. Christianity is not a clique of convenience, but a lifestyle of commitment that calls for us to look beyond ourselves in service and love. Your calendar or your checkbook should not gauge spiritual dedication and involvement.

Sometimes, we even invent excuses to rationalize our apathy. But no excuse is going to make something right that we should not have done, or make up for something that we should have done. What is right is always right, even if it takes us into the rain or uses our vacation funds. Making excuses may make us feel better, but it does not change the truth. Live always and at all times to make Christ known.

Don’t rock the boat

Posted by revarant on May 21, 2012
Posted in: Faith in Action. 1 Comment

I have always enjoyed fishing, but it can be a trying pastime…especially for children. I suppose that I was only eight or nine years old when an uncle took me fishing in a small boat. The fish weren‘t really biting, and like most children I got bored quickly. I couldn‘t be still. Every time I moved, the boat rocked back and forth scaring away any fish that might have been willing to bite. Probably after every other breath, I was complaining about how bored I was or maybe wishing I could even go back home.

At some point my uncle just looked at me. He then handed me a boat oar and said…‖Why don‘t you get us home.‖ To my great delight, he taught me to row a boat slow and steady. I had the time of my life. Being as young as I was it took forever to get back to shore. While I was occupied rowing, he quietly continued to fish. By the time we reached the shore we had all the fish needed for supper.

Jesus was not a stranger to complaints and complainers. In fact, one of the most well known complaints happens when a woman interrupts Jesus and others during a meal (Mark 14:3-9). She pours perfume worth a year‘s wages over Jesus‘ head. Those gathered around begin to complain that there were far better ways to use the money she had just wasted. In his rebuke of those complaining, Jesus seems to point out that while they were suggesting good things that could have been done with the money, she actually DID something good.

Too often we spend more time talking and complaining than we spend doing. Talk is always cheap, and complaints are even cheaper. Christians are supposed to be a people of action. A deeper knowledge of Christ comes through involvement not inactivity. James 1:22 puts it eloquently, ―Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourself.‖ The most well- intentioned complaints can work to undermine the confidence and energy of those who have given of themselves. No one is perfect, and even the most dedicated persons will make mistakes. It is always destructive to sit back and enjoy the journey only to complain about the destination to which you have arrived. Others come to know Christ more through what we do rather than say. Become physically involved and offer your input during the journey when it will be the most beneficial…when it will be the most appreciated. Doing something is to be preferred over doing nothing. The plain and simple fact of the matter is that the person who rows the boat never has time to rock it.

The waterfall, rock and tree

Posted by revarant on May 18, 2012
Posted in: Faith in Action, Trust. Tagged: , . 2 Comments

There was a peculiar rock deep in the forest near a church we attended during my childhood. This huge rock had a small waterfall that flowed near it, and a single tree growing from it‘s top. We loved hiking down to the rock after church with my father. The path was long as it wound down the hill. My father always cautioned to stay together so that we did not get hurt or lost. One day, I decided to make my own path, straight down through the brush and brambles. What I didn‘t know was that my younger brother had followed after me. He became so entangled in the briars that I had to get our father to help him out. When we finally reached the rock, my father glanced down and said, ―We follow the path not because it is the only way, but because it is the easiest way for others to follow us.‖

In Ephesians 4, Paul writes: ―I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. (4:1b-3)― In this passage, Paul is reminds us that the paths we choose to walk in life are important. The way we live influences the spirituality of those around us as much as it does our own.

Paying attention to the details of our lives and faith does not always appear to be the easiest way to reach fulfillment. But Each time we half-heartedly walk our faith, it is as if we have set out through life trying to make our own paths. The problem is that even if we are successful…we haven‘t helped anyone else find their way. The way we live should lead us closer to God, but also help make God easier for others to find. Our lives and spirituality are deeply connected to those around us. If we strive to live all aspects of our daily walk as faithfully as possible, our life and the lives of those around will be blessed. When God is the center of our life, the people on it‘s circumference will show it.

Stop Talking so you can hear!

Posted by revarant on May 14, 2012
Posted in: Prayer. Tagged: , , . Leave a comment

A few years ago, my youngest son found me alone in the sanctuary of our church, kneeling at the altar praying aloud. He sat quietly on the front row until I had finished. As I sat down beside him, he asked, “Daddy, what were you doing?” ‘Well, son…,’ I said…’I was praying.’

He had seen me pray aloud in church before, but there were people present. Looking back, it was probably an interesting site from the perspective of a four year-old. I told him in essence that prayer was a conversation with God. He looked puzzled for a moment, and I wasn‘t sure that he understood. But just before I tried to explain further he asked, “If this was a conversation with God, why were you the only one talking?” “Laughing, I said, ―I wasn’t.” ‖ I went on to explain that when I had difficulty hearing God in my life, often praying aloud would help. After thinking for a moment he said, “Next time use your inside voice so we can both hear God.”

Elijah seemed to have a similar problem hearing God. He had just been part of one of the greatest displays of God‘s power and presence (I Kings 18-19:18) when he found himself despondent. At a mouth of a cave at Mount Sinai, Elijah finds himself waiting for the Lord to physically come by him. Elijah witnessed a windstorm, a earthquake and fire…but God was not in them. God appeared in a still soft voice.

The story reminds me of how easy it is to let life‘s noise crowd out God‘s voice. God is always speaking to us, always reaching out to us. We are just not always spiritually settled enough to hear. God speaks to us through scripture, through teachers, friends and spouses. God even speaks to us through children who remind us to ̳be quiet and listen.‖ If we are going to have an on going conversation with God, we‘ll need to learn to listen to all the ways God speaks. We need to intentionally look for what God is saying in each moment. When we do so, the voice of our lives will be soft enough for everyone around us to also hear God.

Is this enough?

Posted by revarant on April 14, 2012
Posted in: Faith in Action, Strength. Tagged: , , . Leave a comment

I‘ve heard this story told about me most of my life. Although I remember it happening, I don‘t remember the impact of which everyone speaks. When I was about four or five years old, our small church was in need of funds to pay-off a balloon payment on a mortgage debt. Our pastor gave a plea expressing the need in a way that tugged on my heart.

I can remember sitting alone on the front row fiddling in my pockets for all the money I could find to give. According to all the adults, I walked into the pulpit and interrupted the sermon to ask Preacher Finklea if my .54¢ would be enough to help the church. I do remember him taking the change out of my hands and telling me that he thought it would be just enough. According to him, after church an older gentleman who had been opposed to the original loan handed him a check to cover the entire loan balance (minus .54¢). On the way out of the church, the older gentleman supposable said, “Don‘t think what that little boy did had anything to do with this!”

How much of that story is true, and how much of it has been embellished by time I‘ll never know. But what it does illustrate is the connectedness of God‘s kingdom. We often think that we are not talented enough, or spiritually mature enough to participate or help in ministry. But Paul writes “those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, (I Corinthians 12:22).” Everyone can be in ministry. Everyone regardless of our age, size, abilities or inabilities has role to play in God‘s kingdom. In fact, Paul identifies the weakest and least likely to be the most indispensable.

When we are aware of our own weaknesses, we tend to lean much more on God. Our work in the midst of our weaknesses often proclaims God‘s grace and strength. Jesus was able to take a few loaves and fish from a small boy and feed a multitude of people. God was able to take a child‘s .54¢ and pay off a mortgage. God knows that we are not perfect, and not the most talented when God calls us. All God is looking for from us is a willingness to what we can do in any given moment. God will always multiply it and do the rest.

Basket Cases

Posted by revarant on June 15, 2010
Posted in: Perseverance, Trust. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

Quite a few years ago, my little girl fell and deeply cut her chin. It obviously needed stitches. I tend to be very calm in crisis situations, and this occasion was no different. I arranged for friends to care for my son as my daughter and I went to the doctor‘s office. I walked into a special room and noticed a large padded chair. The chair was so out-of-place in this sterile room. I leaned over my daughter as they begin to care for her. All of a sudden I felt weak. My face started sweating and evidently lost its color. It wasn’t long before I felt as if I would pass out. The doctor whispered to me, “That‘s what the chair is for.” My daughter remained remarkably calm, asking every moment or so if I were still in the room.

I had never before felt queasy at the sight of blood. I had never had a problem with one of the boys getting stitches or IVs. And I was not even watching the doctor. I was only talking with my daughter. But I could not stand the thought of this happening to my little girl. It actually continued to trouble me for several more weeks, mainly because I spend a lot of time around sickness and death. Somewhere deep inside, I felt concerned that I might lose “my cool” again. And nobody ever wants a basket case for a pastor.

No matter how collected you are, at some point life will throw you a curve. We will all face situations or circumstances that seem to knock us for a loop. At times we just need to ask if God is still in the room for more assurance. I am reminded of Moses. When Pharaoh was slaughtering the male infants; Moses’ mother set him adrift in a crocodile infested river riding in a basket. That must have been the darkest moment of her life. Yet God watched over Moses, even cared for him as he grew. When Moses fled Egypt, God found him and called him home to lead his people to the Promised Land. Even Paul suffered many things in his life. He lost his lifestyle, his friends and the respect of the Jewish religious community. On several occasions he even lost his liberty and health. Yet in the midst of all these problems, he said “I can do all things in him that strengthened me.” (Philippians 4:13)

We are all called to more than knowledge of Christ. We must also make Christ known. If we truly trust God, our countenance will teach it in good times and bad, in smooth circumstances and rough. No matter what problem with which we must deal, God will provide guidance. No matter what loss we experience, God will provide comfort. Even in times of weakness and despair, God is there. We are never alone, even in our lowest moments. After all, even Moses was once a basket case.

Free Kittens

Posted by revarant on March 15, 2010
Posted in: Looking Deeper, Truth. Tagged: , . Leave a comment

When my daughter was a few years old, we agreed to invite a cat into our family. For weeks we searched in vain for a kitten. One day, as I was waiting to see my doctor, I noticed a handwritten sign that read: ―Free Kittens, see receptionist.‖ My physician had rescued these kittens and was keeping them at her farm. There were kittens everywhere. As we looked, the doctor asked if we wanted a boy or a girl kitten. When we requested a boy, she started inspecting the kittens. She picked one up, then another and another. Finally, she handed one to me and said, ―Here is a boy.‖

Needless to say, my daughter was pleased. So was I, at least until the next year. Then it happened. That little boy cat had kittens. My wife had tried for months to convince me that this cat was a girl. I would not even look. There are just some things that you expect your doctor to know. When the cat started getting fat, I accused my wife of over feeding the cat. Never once did it occur to me to check the cat for myself. I just took someone else‘s word for it.

We do that a lot these days. We hear rumors or gossip, and very often we will pass on these rumors and gossip without even checking their truth. We simply take the word of those we trust, and sometimes even those that we don‘t trust. We do it in our daily lives at home, work and even in church. It can be very dangerous to take the word of someone at face value. Sometimes we only hurt ourselves, but other times we hurt those around us.

I am reminded of Luke 9:18-20. Jesus asked the disciples, ―Who do the people say that I am?‖ The disciples answered, ―John the Baptist; but others say, Elijah; and others, that one of the old prophets has risen.” It would have been a shame if the disciples had taken the rumors and the word of the people at face value for truth. Imagine what they would have missed. Peter looked deeper, and he sought for his own answer. When Jesus asked him what he thought, he said, ―The Christ of God.‖ The rest of the world failed to recognize Jesus, because they did not look for the truth.

Many times we complicate our own lives, miss opportunities, and even bring hardships upon ourselves and those around us simply because we donut take the time to look for the truth in all matters. Life is hard enough as it is without us making it more difficult. For us to really know Christ and to effectively make Christ know we must seek the truth. As for me, well if you know anyone who needs a kitten, send them my way.

Why?

Posted by revarant on January 17, 2010
Posted in: Trust, Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment

The last several months have been difficult and stressful in our family and many of the families that we know. And last week saw such great loss of life in that devastating Haitian earthquake. It seems that we are surrounded on all sides by suffering, and naturally we find ourselves looking for answers and reasons. Last week even found one prominent religious leader blaming the disaster in Haiti on a “pact with Satan,” implying that this was God‘s punishment upon the Haitian people, or that God had somehow turned God‘s back on them.

We find such comments appalling in the light of such loss, but the underlying attitude is actually more common than we think. I‘ve heard it many times in my life. The most memorable time occurred during my teen years after a tragic sports accident left me fighting for my life. Well meaning adults would say things like, “I‘m sure God had a reason for this…,” or “You know God never places anything on our shoulders that we can‘t handle.” One close family friend even suggested to my father that this was a sign that he needed to clean up his life, that my suffering must be related to something in my parent‘s spiritual lives. All these comments have two things in common…they place blame for life‘s troubles and woe‘s on God, and they are un-biblical. In addition to that, they encouraged me to turn away from God in anger instead of toward God for help.

Scripture is clear that the broken world in which we live is not what God wants or intended. In the book of Job, the testing of God‘s servant is not God‘s handiwork, but that of Satan. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul suggests that his pain is the work of Satan, not as punishment but as a way to keep him from God. Several times in scripture it is made clear that pain and suffering are not the tools of God, but the unfortunate side effects of living in a broken world. Bad things happen to everyone, but not because God is punishing anyone. Such thinking turns people away from God and out of the Church.

Scripture proclaims that God isn‘t responsible for the pain, but will help us overcome and use it for great good. Paul continues in 2 Corinthians 12 to describe how he prayed for God to remove his suffering, only to be told ” My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”  Our God is not placing trials around us as punishment, tests of faith or even as tools of evangelism. The Bible does not say that “God will never give us more than we can bear,” ‖it says that no matter what life throws our way, God‘s grace “will be sufficient for you.” That is a HUGE difference. We don‘t have a God who causes our suffering, but a God who seeks to help us overcome the suffering that living in a broken world brings.

One of my seminary professors used to say about such things, “God is gonna have a lot of explaining to do when I see Him in heaven.” The “why” question can never fully be answered in this life. But of this I am sure, when ANYONE suffers in this world…God suffers with them.